Discard some details under “What It Does”? We care about the fact that CaIPERS is a pension fund, but focus more on the financial market aspect (like their portfolio, under funding (shareholder) etc). -Discussion of shareholder activism. Use your own words, based on what you understand from your sources. -Please think a bit more about the conclusion. Give a good idea about whether things are looking up for CaIPERS or not (and why so). What impact did the financial crisis had on CaIPERS. -Their recent rules and regulations So the above points will need to be revised. For the sources, there is no need for in-text citation, my professor just want everything to be in our own words. The sources are just for where you get your understandings from.