Read the following letter:
Dear Apple;
Are you people in the business of selling used merchandise? It certainly seems that you are I sent you $359.95 of my hard-earned money for what I thought would be a nice gift for my sister for her 16th birthday. Boy, was I wrong! I’ll never do business with you people again. The case and screen are cracked. I want my money, an apology, and a new iPad. The sooner the better. Hattie’s birthday is next week.
Jordan Golden
Adapted from Business Communication, 3rd Edition, Patricia Merrier
Second, write and post a critique that answers the following questions. Please develop your response completely to earn full points. Please cite. as needed, from the textbook or other assigned readings to explain or support your comments. Aim for at least 250 words in your post. 1. What elements of letter format are missing? 2. This letter is missing information. If you worked at Apple and received the message, what information would you need to respond to it? 3. How could the writer improve you-attitude in the message? Choose at least one sentence and revise it to demonstrate your point. 4. How could positive emphasis be improved? Choose at least one sentence and revise it to demonstrate your point OR discuss what sentences should simply be omitted from the letter and why. 5. What other revisions or additions would improve the message?
Sample Solution
