Expressing Conflict, Power and Violence: Danger: Relationships in Trouble

Review the four stages of Gottman’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Model. Read each of the following scenarios and determine which stage each couple is experiencing. Complete a Case Study on this case identifying the stage each of these scenarios present from Gottman's Four Horsemen. 1) Danielle is frustrated because Joe never seems to want to do things with her children anymore. When they first started living together, he played with her children all the time—in fact, he spent more quality time with the children than did their own father. While she’s afraid to say it, Danielle asks Joe if he doesn’t feel a bond with her children anymore because they are not married, and he is not legally their stepfather. As she expresses her dissatisfaction, Joe sits in his favorite recliner, clicks through television channels in search of an interesting program, and responds with “hmmmm” and “umm hmm.” 2) Scott is upset with Missy’s shopping habits. Just last month Missy ran up a $2000 credit card bill. Scott points out that Missy’s shopping has gotten out of hand and threatens to take away her credit cards if she doesn’t get things under control. She defended her purchases by stating, “But Scott, you know I only shop when I get bored. And you’ve been working late for the last three weeks and golfing with your friends on the weekends. I don’t really think buying things that we need, and use is ‘out of hand’!” 3) Elizabeth and Jacque haven’t been getting along lately. Jacque points out to Elizabeth that something needs to be done because their relationship has been unsatisfying in recent months. Elizabeth replies, “Okay Suzy Fix-It. What do you suggest? You’re soooo perfect that I need you tell me what I’ve been doing wrong.” 4) Usha has recently returned to college to take classes toward her nursing degree. Mohammed points out to Usha that she has been spending so much time on college that she has been neglecting the children and the house. Usha responds by saying, “Pardon me! You’re such a perfect father. That’s why the kids’ swing set is still in the box in the garage. And why haven’t you checked on getting my car fixed?”