John Gottman
Considering John Gottman's Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse, define and give examples of 1) criticism, 2) contempt, 3) defensiveness, and 4) stonewalling. On which ones you do well? Do you straggle with some of these in your relationships? Were you are in a relationship when your partner was critical, contemptuous, defensive, or was a stonewaller?
Considering House of Sound Relationships, define and give examples of 1) building a love map, 2) building the fondness and admiration system, 3) turning toward, 4) create a sense of shared meaning. Reflect on these concepts in your life and your own relationships.
Please include overall conclusion or critic on John Gottman research.
I think my own personal relationships have been quite successful at avoiding these behaviors most of the time. In difficult times where I may have become frustrated with my partner and started exhibiting one of these behaviors I am usually able to recognize this quickly and apologize before things escalate further. However there have been occasions where I felt like my partner was being critical or contemptuous towards me - but thankfully because of our mutual respect for each other we were both able to navigate past those moments without any lasting damage done overall.
Gottman's research also offers important advice on how couples can build strong relationships: building a love map involves getting to know your partners' inner world likes and dislikes as well as their hopes dreams and fears; building fondness and admiration helps foster compassionate feelings towards one another such as warmth acceptance humor playfulness etc.; turning toward refers to being responsive when your partner reaches out emotionally even if it's something small like asking you how your day was at work; creating shared meaning is essential in sustaining long term relationships by developing rituals shared beliefs values which promote bonding between two individuals over time.
In terms of my own life much of what Gottman recommends resonates deeply with me especially the idea of 'turning toward' - often times simply listening attentively understanding body language hearing out what someone has to say instead jumping immediately into problem solving mode can be all that is needed in order diffuse tension create space for open dialogue not just between romantic partners but also within friendships family members etc.. Ultimately John Gottman's research provides valuable insight into healthy relationship dynamics beyond just identifying destructive patterns but also promoting positive connections between people based on communication trust empathy understanding compassion commitment .