Flexibility Viability – Peer Review of The Micromanagers
Alexis, Brad, Keyi, Feiyu
Milestone #4
Part 1: Summary
● The draft explores issues revolving around equity and inclusion within our university and the measures the university has taken to increase diversity and inclusion efforts at UCSB=
● Interviewees were selected from a pool of ‘higher-education’ employees at the University and were comprised of mostly asian women and hispanic men
● Interviewees share their challenges and perspectives about diversity through Zoom and
in-person meetings through which they recalled their upbringing in foreign countries
which included various instances of negative bias and struggles regarding equality.
● Emphasizes how UCSB is an HSI (Hispanic Serving Institution) and AANAPISI (Asian American Native American Pacific Islander-Serving Institution), in order to put a spotlight in the measures that UCSB takes to battle inequality
● Participants mention instances of unfair treatment and mockery against them for traits such as accents or speech patterns when they first arrived at the university, but also end by mentioning that the University is taking steps in the right direction each year with more diversity, but that overall there is still work to be done
Part 2: Quality Evaluation
Strengths:
● Detailed interviews, personal experiences – Allows to reader to engage and immerse themselves into the paper, really getting to know/a feel for the interviewee’s past
● Variety of interviewees (age and ethnicity) – Provides a broad perspective on the subject of discrimination and inequality through interviewees who have grown up in different eras
● Interviews did not focus only on challenges but also the focus on improvements in diversity and inclusion efforts from UCSB, providing more context to the entire situation at the university.
Weaknesses:
● Slow to get to the main point – Although providing context is important, the problem the group is facing should be addressed quickly, within the first introduction paragraph instead of making the entire introduction sort-of split into three paragraphs in the first page, and only mentioning the issue of inequality once in a single sentence towards the bottom of the page.
● Some formatting issues that make it a bit more difficult to really flow with the paper; EX: “participants’ research was a small consideration when choosing interviewees. Finding participants who had backgrounds in social sciences and humanities was a small consideration” can be meshed into one sentence to keep flow smooth and make it easier for the reader to digest.
● Provide source for statistics found in the paper; “only 36%”; “only 20%”
Part 3: Feedback – Suggestions
● Maybe link interview findings with the textbook/ literature (Social Identity/ Social Categorization)
● Add suggestions on actions that could be taken by UCSB – Since the paper ends off on a note that there are still barriers for minority groups at UCSB, perhaps include some examples of what the university should do, or perhaps were suggested by the interviewees to do in order to mend this.
● Delve a little more on how UCSB became and HSI and AANAPISI – Explore the history university’s efforts to become an HSI and AANAPISI just as much as the interviewee’s recalled history including equality issues were explored./
● Perhaps include statistics on diversity and inclusion at UCSB, such as enrollment and retention rates of minority students and faculty in order to provide context for the diverse-situation at the university.

 

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Sample Answer

Peer Review of “Flexibility Viability – The Micromanagers”

Authors: Alexis, Brad, Keyi, Feiyu
Milestone #4

Part 1: Summary

The draft explores critical issues surrounding equity and inclusion within the University of California, Santa Barbara (UCSB), detailing the measures the university has undertaken to enhance diversity and inclusion. The research focuses on interviews conducted with a diverse group of higher-education employees at UCSB, predominantly featuring Asian women and Hispanic men.

The interviewees reflect on their experiences of facing negative bias and struggles concerning equality as they recount their upbringings in foreign countries. The paper highlights UCSB’s designation as a Hispanic Serving Institution (HSI) and an Asian American Native American Pacific Islander-Serving Institution (AANAPISI), emphasizing the university’s commitment to combating inequality.

Interview participants share personal accounts of unfair treatment and mockery related to their accents and speech patterns during their initial arrival at the university. However, they also acknowledge UCSB’s ongoing efforts to improve diversity and inclusion, indicating that while progress has been made, additional work remains.

Part 2: Quality Evaluation

Strengths

1. In-Depth Interviews: The detailed interviews allow readers to engage deeply with the personal experiences of interviewees, fostering empathy and understanding.
2. Diverse Perspectives: The inclusion of interviewees from various age groups and ethnic backgrounds enriches the narrative by providing a wide array of perspectives on discrimination and inequality.
3. Balanced Focus: The paper successfully highlights not only the challenges faced by minorities but also UCSB’s advancements in diversity and inclusion, offering a comprehensive view of the situation.

Weaknesses

1. Delayed Main Point: The introduction takes too long to address the core issue of inequality. It would benefit from a more direct approach in the opening paragraph to clearly outline the problem.
2. Formatting Issues: Some sentences could be streamlined for better flow. For example, combining sentences that relate to participant selection can enhance readability.
3. Lack of Source Attribution: When presenting statistics, such as “only 36%” or “only 20%,” it is crucial to provide proper citations for credibility.

Part 3: Feedback – Suggestions

1. Connecting Findings with Literature: Consider linking the interview findings with relevant theories from the textbook, particularly those focusing on social identity and social categorization. This could enrich the analysis and provide a theoretical framework for the discussions.

2. Suggestions for Improvement: Since the conclusion mentions remaining barriers for minority groups at UCSB, it would be beneficial to include actionable suggestions for the university based on interviewee recommendations. This will provide a constructive angle to the discussion.

3. Historical Context: Delve deeper into how UCSB achieved its HSI and AANAPISI statuses. Exploring the university’s historical efforts in promoting equity would add depth to the narrative, complementing the interviewees’ experiences.

4. Statistical Context: Including statistics on diversity and inclusion at UCSB—such as enrollment and retention rates of minority students and faculty—will provide essential context for understanding the university’s diversity situation better.

Conclusion

Overall, this draft presents a compelling examination of equity and inclusion issues at UCSB through personal narratives. By addressing some of the weaknesses identified—particularly regarding the clarity of the introduction, formatting, sourcing of statistics, and enhancing theoretical connections—the paper can become an even more powerful tool for advocating change within the university environment. The suggestions provided aim to strengthen the paper’s impact and ensure that it contributes meaningfully to discussions on diversity and inclusion in higher education.

 

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