Principles of Good Parenting
| Event 1
Child’s age: __2____ Child’s gender: _male____ Parent’s gender: __male___ |
Event 2
Child’s age: _4_____ Child’s gender: __female___ Parent’s gender: __female__ |
Event 3
Child’s age: _6_____ Child’s gender: __male___ Parent’s gender: _female____ |
|
| Briefly describe the incident.
What child behaviors prompted the parent’s discipline? |
Another kid was playing with a toy car. This boy then goes to hold on to the kid’s toy, refusing to let go. |
While the children are playing, her daughter suddenly starts attacking another kid, so they end up fighting. |
This boy is running all over the park, shoving other children. He laughs as some fall down and others are shocked. |
| What did the parent do to discipline the child? | He goes towards him, grabs the toy and hands it over to the kid owner. He warns his child that it is poor manners | She rushes towards her and whisks her away, then pinches her several times before leaving her. | She points at him and smiles. |
| How did the child respond to the discipline? | The child stands stiff scared then turns away slowly. | The child cries a lot and then burrows for some time. | He stops doing his act for a little while, then resumes. |
| What would you have done differently in the situation (or what do you suggest)? | Telling the child to simply return the toy to the other kid as it is not his. | I would first seek to know what happened. It may not have been the daughter’s fault that the war started | I would have called him by and told him that what he was doing was wrong, then asked him to stop it. |
Children temperaments vary immensely, and this is dependent on how parents modify their modes of discipline. It has everything to do with how a child is tuned to adapt to life challenges, be it anxiety, nervousness, or excitement. The first two events indicate aggressive behavior, due to the fact that children typically express themselves using their hands (Steinberg 213). In the first scenario, the child sees a toy and wants it. Intuitively, he feels that he can have because he looks bigger that the one with the toy. In a spontaneous reaction, the father snatches it, gives it back, and warns his child.
In the second scenario, impulsive reaction led to use of the hand to hit on the other kid. It was probably a means of defense. The, mother, who seemingly understands her daughter very well, grabs her and pinches her, revealing something about the aggressiveness of her daughter. The final event is a manifestation of disruptive behavior. Children usually misbehave, exhibiting occasional outbursts. This particular child is interfering with other children’s peace, and upon warning, halts for a little while only to resume. The mother warns him, though quite reluctantly.
In my opinion, the children’s behavior seems to be influenced by their personalities. Some children are easy, others quiet, and some very difficult. Their reactions, thus, are a reflection of their true self, and their future nature. Contrastingly, the parents must have reacted because of the presence of others. They want to avoid embarrassing situations, as they probably know how their children behave. They, therefore, act fast so as to not stir public attention or criticism.
All the situations were quite different, and probably required different approaches in communicating to the children. The father who shouts clearly depicts that his parenthood does not fit the child. A better approach would have been setting the limits before they left home, and if his child went against him, he would ask him what they had agreed on. This would have made the kid see sense and return the toy without further need for noise or public lecture on improper mannerisms.
The mother who swoops her child also does not understand her child very well. The cause of the hitting would have been as a result of action from another child. She could have, therefore, stopped her child from the fight, then enquired what had ensued. From there, it would be clear to know who was on the wrong, and this could have justified the pinching should the case have landed on her daughter.
The third scenario depicts too much loving for the child. If somebody commits an offence and you smile back at them, they will most definitely assume that it is not as irritating then go back to it (Steinberg 23). The mother could have taken a deeper interest and called his son, criticized him a bit, so that he feels guilty, and refrain from disturbing other people. This would not have stopped him from running around, but could have made him respect the other people’s privacy.
The parents did display varied forms of reaction to their children’s behavior. The father, for example, was more hands on. He knew his son was on the wrong, and did what men do best; gave a stern warning. This was an expression of boundary- based discipline (Pedersen 234). The first mother tries to use behavior modification as a disciplinary form. By pinching her daughter, she tries to tell her that the pinching will stop when she complies. She then ignores the daughter so that the reality sinks in. The last mother exudes gentle discipline. She warns her child in a way that does not make him feel guilt or shame. From this, it was evident that the disciplinary actions were hardly based on gender. If anything, then the girl child would have been handled more cautiously, as opposed to the boys, yet, she was the one who received pinches (Pedersen 240).
To some extent, the age of the children also made their parents react to them differently. The father probably knew that talking to a two-year old was a cumbersome task, hence threatening him would be a much viable option. The mother probably interacts a lot with her daughter, which made her first instinct pinch her, because she probably felt the kid was old enough to know. The last child is also treated that way because of his age. For the mom, any other physical reaction could probably affect his emotions due to others’ presence, thus tries to use a more subtle method.
These observations can be able to signal the various parenting styles that parents adapt. The first parent expressed an authoritarian style. He tries to structure his child so that the child can manage his own behavior. Assertion of parental authority is vividly seen by the child’s fear and withdrawal. The first mom applies authoritative parenting style, whereby she is democratic enough to let her daughter go have fun with other kids, but executes punishment when she sees improper behavior. The final mom exhibits a hands-off style in which she seems uninvolved with the child, as she shows very little interaction with the child (Steinberg et al. 129). Each observation suffices to depict an accurate indication of different parenting styles. It, in effect, shows how different parents react to their children’s behavioral adaptations.
Charity begins at home, an implication that this first step that must be explored in building a long term prospect of what children eventually become when they grow up. It influences their characteristics. The parental principles applied shape children throughout their teenage, and later adult years. These ideologies are similar, and cut across to parents across all regions of the world. The child who was criticized by his father will grow up respecting people’s property as a result of his father’s constant warnings and rules of law. The daughter who was pinched may grow up very democratic, caring for others needs and assisting in problem solving. The kid spoilt with love may end up very arrogant and disrespectful, since he would want other people to accord him respect but not reciprocate the same. The child’s developmental outcome, as such, becomes a critical issue that parents ought to consider when bringing up their children. As society views it, there is no more important job than raising children, and parents have been found to have the greatest influence on their development (Steinberg165).
Raising children is something that cannot be thought of as being scientific, and there is no guarantee that following stipulated guidelines will bring about an outcome of perfect parenthood. The observations made are just but an insight to discovering how broad parenting is, and how different parents regard their children with respect to their parental principles (what they want their children to be). Offering sage advice as well as pragmatic steps to follow, all the resources combined help parents apply the science of child development to relationships with children. This has eventually enabled me to see the fact that child upbringing is eminently practical.
Works Cited
Pedersen, Daphne. E. The Good Mother, the Good Father, and the Good Parent: Gendered Definitions of parenting. Journal of Feminist Family Therapy 24/3(2012): 230-246.
Steinberg, Laurence et al. Authoritative parenting and Adolescent adjustment across varied ecological niches. Adolescents and Their Families: Structure, Function, and Parent-Youth Relations 2/1(2012): 129.
Steinberg, Laurence. The 10 basic principles of good parenting. Simon & Schuster, 2005. Print.
